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Rebel “Besharam” Daughter or Cycle Breaker

I think for far too long Daughters are labelled rebellious whenever they astray from the traditional pathways. Especially in South-Asian families where there’s so much “pressure” to be a good daughter and then progress to a good daughter-in-law.


Growing up when aunties around me bad-mouthed a younger girl or woman coming into our family, I never thought of it twice. I think we are all easily detached from something till it doesn’t feel personal. It wasn’t until I took the steps away from the path that my parents/family had set out for me that it really started hitting then.

It’s interesting that when a woman chooses to marry for love she’s suddenly disobedient even if she saw trapped mothers in love-less marriages all her life. She’s besharam/slut for exploring her sexuality while generations of women continue to live repressing their needs.

Everyone in our society from colleagues to relatives will make their life’s mission to get her back of the path of “sanity”. How dare she step outside the bounds set for women and follow her heart.

How dare she break the cycle of accepting neglect and abuse when her mother didn’t, her grandmother didn’t

How and where did she suddenly inherit the courage to do so??

Men too can Break the cycle of their families, I didn't see it growing up.

But today with my husband I feel we are both going to the nurturing adults who have identified and paving a pathway away from the unhelpful toxic cycles that have existed in the family for far too often.

Sometimes it's as simple as choosing appreciation instead of fear as a motivator with children.

I have been painted as the “drama queen” for having mental health issues, the troublemaker for following my heart and the “shame bringer” for marrying for love.

I reject all of these labels ! and accept the title of The “Cycle Breaker”

The one who was brave enough to work on herself, the one went in therapy sessions feeling scared not knowing what to expect, the one who wants to bring healing to not her and her family.

If you are reading this today and you have been labelled unnecessarily as selfish woman who is forging and unconventional path. I want to reconsider that perhaps the labels are coming from a place of ignorance it’s easier to label and stereotype you then to investigate their own inadequacies.

You are what your future female generations will be thankful.

Love @rtsybrownlady!1

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